Archive for the ‘Nursing Jokes’ Category

Punchline ng mga FEU TAMARAWS…

Tuesday, October 6th, 2009

Taga-FEU ka ba?

Kasi sabi ng puso ko….

TAMARAW na ibigin kita…:D

—-tamang banat ng mga taga-FEU… hahaha! (received this text message from Lyne…:])

Thankful with FEU-NURSING AUDIT

Friday, May 1st, 2009

Now that I am half through my formal review class, there is one thing that I realized…

It’s a good thing that FEU added the NURSING AUDIT in our curriculum because it became very advantageous for me since in my review, we are just tasked to answer test examinations and then the reviewers will just discuss the rationale behind the correct answers. If they will discuss the specific disease or topic, it is just brief due to time constraints.

I am very thankful that we had great reviewers and I had taken the lectures and the exams seriously (though, I am always late or even half day… hehehe!). Yes, I must admit that IT IS SOOOOOO D-I-F-F-I-C-U-L-T but it made me confident because I feel that Tamaraws really has an edge for that matter.

With that, I would like to share with you a text message containing some taglines of our reviewers, compiled, forwarded and revolved around FEU-IN BATCH 2009’s text messages. I, myself received this text message couple of times. This was made last February 2009.

“Hindi importante dito kung gaano kataas anf scores mo, ang mahalaga, natuto ka…”
– Maam Mhel
“Hindi hadlang anf below average lang na I.Q…”
– Sir Aliswag
“Para pumasa ka sa board exam, di pwedeng aral ng aral…”
– Maam Tan
“Matuto kayong mangaram mga AMBISYOSA…”
– Sir Nonog
“An intelligent person is the one who admits he doesn’t know ever-zeirything…”
– Sir Ranjo
“You’re not a chicken, you’re an eagle…”
– Sir Pondang
“Gawin mong inspirasyon si Bebe boy, Bebe girl…”
– Sir Asuncion
“Gwapo pala ang kuya mo, sana noon mo pa ko sinama sa bahay niyo, Beybeh…”
– Sir Laboy

Uto-uto ba ako???

Wednesday, December 24th, 2008

Tanong: Sino ang pinakamabaet na estudyante ng Nursing?

Sagot: Edi mga 4th Year!

Bakit?

“Pag hindi mo ginawa yan, babagsak ka ng sampung beses sa Board Exam!!!”

Syempre, Ikaw ba naman isumpa, edi gawin mo na lang…
Mas Ok na maging uto-uto kaysa naman bumagsak.
Diba? Diba?

Gagawin lahat makapasa lang… NAKAKALOKA… hahaha!

*hindi pala kabaitan yun, natakot lang talaga. heheheh! Palakpakan…

P.S

More stories about that coming… :]

Another batch of Nursing Text Messages, Jokes and Quotations

Tuesday, October 21st, 2008

Since my inbox is now overflowing with text messages, I would like to share them with you. Here are some nursing text messages for you to enjoy:

1. From Mr. Jamon (my C.I during my duty at NCMH)
Nurses are not superhumans.
They read patient’s charts–not their minds.
They also have their own insecurities, problems, and difficulties in life.
They possess strength yet still, they are vulnerable. They know how to get hurt.
So in case your expectations to them become a little TOO high..
Think again…
Remember what the song ‘Superman’ says?
“..even heroes have the right to bleed..”

2. From Mich
A nurse is someone
who says toxic everytime,
who has limited rest days,
who carry tons of books,
who can eat as fast as 5 minutes…
But still manages t0
luk go0d..
and H 0 T..

3. From Monmon
Doing SEX
by Profession:
Doctors
do it in
ORDER
DJs
do it by
REQUEST
Dentists
do it
ORALLY
MedTechs
do it w/
SAMPLES
But
Nurses
do it by
ROUNDS!

4. From Christian
How naughty & nice nurses can be?
>perform nipple rolling to promote c0ntraction.
>touch a guy’s private organ to insert
a catheter.
>perform internal
exam to dtermine
cervical dilatati0n.
.. & it’s all done
for the sake
of the patient care!
Datz h0w nuRses are!

5. From Aaron
I can be ur..
Amphetamine:
2 tel u ‘wag kang
susuk0.’
benz0diazepine:
2 tel u ‘wag kang
mag-alala.’
antipsych0tic:
2 tel u ‘wag kang
sira.’
TCA/MAOI/SSRI:
2 tel u ‘wag ka
nang mlngk0t.’
lithium carb0n8:
2 tel u ‘hinay
hinay lang.’
antic0nvulsant:
2 tel u ‘relax ka
lang.’
antibi0tic:
2 tel u ‘ipaglalaban
kita.’
analgesic:
2 tel u ‘0k lng
yan im hr 2 rliev
d pain.’
multivitamins:
2 tel u ‘ingat ka
palagi.’
bt dnt w0ri,wla
ak0ng syd effect!ü^_^

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In a Psyche ward…

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
afraid of the dogs... rarr!

afraid of the dogs... rarr!

A bored sadist, masochist, murdrer, necrophle, a zoophile & pyromaniac n a psychiatric ward:


Sadist:
hey y dnt we torture a cat?
Zoophile: yeah we’l trture a cat & thn fuck it!
Murderer: we’l trture a cat, fuck it & thn kill it!
Necrophile: we’l torture 8, fuck 8, kill 8 & fuck it agen!
Phyromaniac: yeah then we’l burn the cat! ..sudden silence..
then all asked the masochist “y u not say anything
Masochist: MEOW! (‘.’)

***

2 baliw gs2ng tmakaz sa mental h0spital:

mentally-challenged...LOL!
mentally-challenged…LOL!

baliw1: alm qna g2wn para mktkas tau
baliw2: pan0? Eh,nkapadl0ck ung gate.
Baliw1: un n nga eh! Ccrain ntn,kpg nxra n,mk2takas n tau
baliw2: o0 nga n0h?galing m0 tlga!tara n!
baliw1: pare! Malas!
Baliw2: oh bkt?
Baliw1: ndi nkal0ck ung padl0ck.ndi ntn mccra!ndi tau mkktakas!
baliw2: antanga m0 nman pare!edi il0ck ntn pra pde n ntng crain..!

*post powered by Nokia PC Suite…LOL!

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